Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A time and place for everything

Today, we almost find ourselves stepping back into our personal history, back to a time before our weekly awards postings, back to a time where we still felt the need to classify a post with multiple stories under a random title, and came up with something a little off-kilter. Almost, because we're not going to bow to the pressure like that. We are, however, going to tie our three stories from today together thematically. Basically, that theme being the subject line for today, and pointing out how each story involves missing on either one, or both, levels.

Take, for example, the couple that decided to have sex in church. In and of itself, that's fairly bad, at least as far as most church doctrine is concerned. Now take a moment to realize that they did it in the confessional booth, and you've got a wonderful example of the wrong place. First of all, they had to have been just a bit cramped. And secondly, what if a priest actually had to use the booth? Would they be encouraged to say, "Forgive us, Father, but we're sinning right now"? Besides, most guys would be a little worried about trying to get her to say, "Oh, God" in such a location, lest there be a mix-up as to who's being addressed.

Which moves us on to someone who got confused on both time and place (yes, we're saving just time for last, but trust us. We have a reason). After a mugging on a tram in Bromley (UK), the robber decided that he needed to check out his newly gotten goods a little better. So he stopped and did it, by looking in the reflective surface of the tram's security camera. Because there certainly would have been no way to look in a mirror at any other location. We have to wonder if the robber knew the camera was there and filming his every move. If this had happened in America, we could have been fairly certain that he was actually trying to use the mugging as an audition for a FOX program, but, in the UK, we think he might just have been confused.

Confusion leaks into our final story. Apparently, GDub has found something to regret, and is attempting to spend his final months in office changing a perspective. That perspective that people seem to have of him? The idea that he was a war monger, and relatively opposed to the notion of a peace process. In fact, he even seems to think that some of his rhetoric may have fueled the perceptions. Well, heck, we certainly can't imagine how phrases like "bring it on" would in any possible way be confused as some sort of desire to start a fight. After all, every time we hear someone say those lines, it inevitably leads to puppies and ice cream, and not, as VPCheney might hope, puppy-flavored ice cream. We're definitely going to put this into the category of "wrong time", since, well, there's really no good time to try and reverse your stance on such a strong and polarizing issue. We're fairly certain that Charlton Heston didn't lie on his death bed saying, "It's okay, Tommy... you can take my gun now. I don't want you to have to pry it or anything... you might scratch the finish."

Maybe tomorrow we'll get to play "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." That could be entertaining in its own right.

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