Thursday, March 06, 2008

A punishment worse than death

So we were going to write a story about men doing housework. Specifically, how the notion of men doing housework generally leads to them getting more sex. After all, we have something of a vested interest in a story like that.

But, in our dedication to bring some of the strangest news to you, our readers, and, while bringing said news, trying to fill it with a little levity, we instead need to relate a story from France. It's a short story, all about a mayor, and his overflowing cemetery.

Outside of the village of Sarpourenx, there is a cemetery. This cemetery has been around for quite some time, and, as such, has reached more than its capacity. Now, if you were the mayor of this village, what would you do? Would you perhaps try to take a new piece of the countryside to expand your burial grounds?

Or would you tell the residents of your village that they aren't allowed to die? Even more to the point, if they do die, would you then punish them severely?

Admittedly, the mayor of this town did try to expand the cemetery, but he was denied the ability. Faced with little choice, he took the measure that he did, hoping for some sort of positive outcome. And, well, obviously, when you ban your citizens from dying, the only possible positive outcome is that they will all suddenly become immortal. After all, they wouldn't want to get fined for receiving termination from the job called "living".

And it's not even that nobody can die in the town. It's that those people who don't already HAVE a plot are not allowed to die. If you had purchased a plot, then by all means, shuffle away. If you hadn't, however, get ready to strap on a sword and fight other immortals. After all, there can be only one.

Through this whole thing, we admittedly find ourselves curious. What sort of punishment could possibly be worse than dying?

Wait. We've got it. The dead are forced to spend eternity watching "Hannah Montana", without kids of their own to justify it, all while sitting next to Parisite. And all of the singing will be done by Milli Vanilli. And we don't mean the studio performers, either.

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