Gearing up for the holiday

You can tell that people are gearing up for St. Patrick's Day. Large quantities of green clothing are being thrown into the wash, and people are preparing their stomachs for the combination of corned beef, cabbage, and green beer. That, and the bizarre factor is definitely kicking up with regards to drinking stories.

Take, for example, the woman that decided that she was too drunk, and therefore needed to get a designated driver. A good decision on her part, to start with. However, her driver was also a bit intoxicated. The real problem? The DD was the woman's 14-year-old daughter.

After all, nothing says love quite like drinking between parents and children. Especially when those children are far too young to drink legally. Of course, the daughter repaid that love by overturning the car and injuring both herself and her mother.

Then, of course, comes the story about the Austin Park Police officer who resigned after being found guilty of drinking on the job. What tipped off his supervisors? How about the fact that a homeless person noticed the smell of alcohol? When the portion of society stereotypically known for panhandling to get enough change to buy a bottle of Christian Brothers brandy calls you out for your drinking, you may have a bit of a problem.

So what do we learn from these stories, especially in preparation for this upcoming weekend? Well, we learn to hide our drinking from the homeless. That's fairly key. At the very least, they could get jealous of the ability to freely purchase alcohol, and it could result in losing your job. The other lesson?

Please, don't let your kids drink and drive. Not until they're at least old enough to get a license of their own.

Note: Neither of these rules apply if your last name is "Spears".