When faux-leather just won't do

Sure, a lot of things have happened throughout history on this day. Stainless steel was invented, Fidel Castro was born, and Mickey Mantle died. It's also the day that KRove announced that, at the end of August, someone in Washington will be looking for a brain. But, of course, this is the Coffee-Soaked Mind, and we just can't rest on our laurels, covering the big news of the day. As usual, we focus our lens on the smaller stories, the stories that seem a little off-kilter.

And few things in this world strike us as being as off-kilter as the concept of a camouflage Bible.

Now we know what some of you out there may be thinking. "But, CSM, we NEED our camouflage Bibles. If we don't cover them with a pattern similar to one found in nature, then the terrorists have already won." At least, we think that someone is thinking that. We're actually fairly certain that anyone who reads us hasn't actually put together that particular thought quite yet.

Still, the reason given for the camo Bible, by Christian Outdoorsman, who is producing them, is that they want to be able to help outdoorsmen communicate their Christian sensibilities. That's why they're selling not only the camouflage Bible, but also ones that are waterproof. After all, God's words shouldn't be damaged by acts of said deity. And nobody wants to try to open up their New Testament only to find that rain has caused the pages to look less-than-pristine.

Another benefit to the camouflage Bible, of course, is that it will enable hunters to carry their prayerbooks, all while disguising it from their prey. And who hasn't heard a story about a deer hunter foiled while attempting to land that 14-point buck, all because the animal saw the gold filigree and red leather cover of the Good Book, causing them to sprint in the opposite direction.

We think that this could simply be a beginning. Not only should Christian Outdoorsman be producing camouflage Bibles, but they should look into other possible ways to spread the message. How about a canteen that blesses tap water? Or maybe a crucifix that can double as a scope? After all, when you're planning on finding ways to make the Bible and its tenets work better in a hunting environment, the sky isn't the limit. It's the ultimate goal.

Well, that, and some tasty venison.